This morning, I was sitting at my desk and just analyzing where I have been in the last 6 months and how much I have made every excuse not to exercise, to eat healthy, do make myself a healthy lifestyle. Is it hard? Heck yes its hard!!!! So out of desperation this morning, I emailed Corinne asking for help. Sometimes I feel like I am so alone at this battle because I am REALLY struggling here, I am trying to get my weight off not just get toned, I keep giving up on myself .... but I have made my commitment that I am going to do it, I am going to do it for myself and for the sake that I am trying to get pregnant, I want a healthy pregnancy and etc!

This morning I was sitting here fighting the tears as I wrote Corinne an email (must admit a few fell down my face as I was typing to her) ... I am willing to do anything and everything that it takes to get going, to stay going!

I do think so far that I have had a good start, I am eating off the menu that I had made with only one or two exceptions on there. I went on a walk/jog last night 1.5 miles in 22 mins. Not GREAT but ok being as I was limping after way back to the house. Today, I didn't let shin splits get me down because there are people that have it worse than I, as Corinne said :) *love ya girl* Instead I went to the gym at lunch, worked out on the bike, then I worked out on some ST but I was running behind schedule, got 1/2 through then I will, yes I will finish up tonight.

I really don't know what you girls can do for me, but I needed to pour my heart out to you. What have you found to help you especially in the beginning? Anything that you can think of, please either email me or post back here. I could really use all your insight!

Thanks again for letting me *cry* on your shoulder!

A little disappointed but continuing to go on my journey. This weekend, I haven't been the best at my eating at all!
Today I made homemade chili, cornbread muffins. Then my hubby made us roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce ... well to say the least I feel like a pig after eating all day!
I hope everyone is doing good; I plan on making tomorrow, the next day and the rest of the week a better week of eating. I did get my menu planned out for the week. I just have to stick to my plan. :)

Football Season Anyone?

I was reading something online today and I came across these little recipes for all those who make a lot of food during football season for the parties! Enjoy!

Score Big With Healthy Game-Time Foods

By Dorian Wagner
It's football season, everyone. Time for tailgating, cheering, beer -- and the death of your diet, right? Wrong!

While we can't find you a healthy substitute for your beer (although studies have shown there are some benefits to drinking), we can help you create a diet-conscious tailgate menu. And don't worry… We know it's football and "the guys" won't eat tofu and carrot sticks. Just trust us on this one -- they won't even know they're eating healthy!

Kick it off right…

Fired-up BBQ Bean Dip
1 can (15 ounces) red or black beans, drained and rinsed
1/3 cup barbeque sauce
1 tbsp. hot sauce
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar

Directions: Combine all ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth. Serve with raw vegetable sticks or baked chips. Serves 6.

Fan-Favorite Nuts
1 tbsp. margarine or light butter
¼ cup Worcestershire sauce
2 cans mixed nuts
Optional: 2 tsp. garlic powder

Directions: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In large pan, combine margarine, Worcestershire sauce and optional garlic. Cook, stirring frequently, for about 3 minutes (until butter is melted). Remove from heat and stir in mixed nuts.

Spread thoroughly coated nuts on a baking sheet and bake for 13 minutes, or until nuts are lightly toasted. Cool and keep in a tightly-sealed container until you get to the parking lot!

It's half-time, help yourself…

Mascot Meatball Kabobs
1 1/3 lb. ground turkey
½ egg substitute
1 cup breadcrumbs
½ cup chopped onions
Vegetable oil
2 zucchini, sliced
2 yellow squash, sliced
1 package cherry tomatoes
1 jar pearl onions
Barbeque sauce

Directions: In large bowl, combine first four ingredients. Form mixture into 2-inch balls. Heat oil in large skillet and brown meatballs. On moistened bamboo skewers (to prevent burning), load on meatballs, zucchini, squash, tomatoes and onions. Wrap in foil and keep in a cooler on your way to the parking lot.

Once there, grill over medium heat about 6 minutes, turning halfway through. Brush on barbeque, then grill 8 minutes more, or until vegetables are tender and meatballs are heated through.

Make it to the goal line…

First Down Potato & Chicken Salad
5 medium red potatoes
3 tbsp. white wine vinegar
3 tbsp. water
2 tsp. spicy mustard
¼ tsp. salt
¼ tsp. pepper
8 ounces precooked chicken strips
1/3 cup chopped celery

Directions: Place potatoes in medium saucepan, cover with water and bring to a boil. Cook 5-6 minutes and set aside to cool. In separate container, mix vinegar, water, mustard, salt and pepper. Add in chicken, onion and potato slices. Serves 4.

Touchdown Teriyaki Steak
2/3 cup soy sauce
¼ cup rice wine
¼ cup rice vinegar
¼ cup sugar
1 tbsp. ginger
2 garlic cloves, minced
2/3 cup light beer
2 ½ pounds flank steak

Directions: Marinade -- Combine soy sauce, rice wine, vinegar, sugar, ginger, garlic and beer in saucepan over high heat. Cook until mixture reduces to half. Allow to cool, seal steak and marinade in large Ziploc bag. Leave overnight, or simply let bagged steaks marinate in a cooler while you drive to the game.

At the parking lot -- Fire up your grill and cook steaks for about 4 to 8 minutes per side, or until they reach your desired doneness. Dig in! Serves 6.

I did it again guys! I made it to the gym again during lunch hour. I almost wonder if I give a little more at the gym during this time cause I know that I am cracking it all out in one hour. :)


Drinking my protein drink now ..... hopefully I can quit shaking then too!

Btw .... I have had the willpower to stay away from the devil candy today so far!!!!!!

So again this morning my bed was too comfy to get out of so I didn't make it to the gym but I grabbed my gym back and my clothes and I will go again today at lunchtime. I am determined to find the time to do it whether it be before work, during lunchtime, after work ..... Plus I honestly believe if I workout then I eat better, I do better.

I have been thinking in my head that I know that I can do this ... I just have to do it!

One of my struggles is: sugars ... CANDY! I love candy! I am like a candy-olichic on crack :) I could eat it night and day, day and night ....... AKA why I am overweight today. I come into work and there is a BIG tub of licorice from Costco sitting there. I am thinking in my head "back away from the candy ..... back away from the licorice." Now, I know I can't deny myself of all kinds of sweets and treats but that is my problem. EVERYDAY in my head I think I need to have a sweet treat throughout the day and I know that I don't ..... So I have been chewing on Extra "Bubble Gum" flavored gum. :) yummy! I think that gum is going to be my hero, the only thing that can keep me away from the candy .....


This is my morning ..... I will post later how my day is!

I did it everyone. I have been eating healthier today, I got to the gym at lunch, had a good workout. I am starting over ... I think I am gonna do it this time!!!!

Which will Burn More Fat: Toning or Cardio?

Do you ever just go into the gym and think to yourself? What should I do today? Cardio or Toning? What is going to make me have better results? Well here is a friendly little reminder article for us all ....

Which will Burn More Fat: Toning or Cardio?

FREE DAILY FITNESS TIP

By Carly Young, Special to LifeScript

Monday, September 24, 2007

If you’re trying to lose weight, should you spend all your time on the treadmill or pumping extra iron? To look fabulous and toned, you need to do both. After all, you can run on the treadmill for hours, but you’ll never build sexy muscles unless you lift weights. Alternately, you can crunch yourself into oblivion, but you won’t be able to see your abs if they’re buried under a layer of excess fat. Surprisingly, building muscle can actually help increase your metabolism. A pound of muscle burns more calories than a pound of fat, even if you’re just sitting still. Also, strengthening your muscles will help you perform better when you’re exercising, which means you’ll be able to work out harder and blast more fat. And if you work on your muscles and stick with your cardio program, you’ll begin to see sexy definition as you lose more weight. Cardio activities, like running, swimming and biking melt fat from all over your body, which will make the underlying muscles visible. Weight-lifting exercises, such as squats and push ups, are perfect for toning problem areas. You can have separate workouts for cardio and toning, but if you want to save time, perform a routine that provides both cardio and strength-training benefits, like a super circuit. Even though it sounds like you have to do double the work to get the body you want, there’s no way your fat can survive the two-pronged attack of cardio and weight training!

Its been too long ....

Yes it has been too long since I have blogged, that I really have done anything that I have promised myself that I was going to do.

Yesterday as I was putting away my clothes in my closet, I got depressed. I asked myself, why am I not doing this this? Why am I not working out like I should? Why am I not putting my health in front of my own selfish desires?? Because honestly ... being too lazy to go to the gym, or eating candy out of stress all comes back to selfishness. I need to do this NOT only for myself but also for my family ...

So with that said, I went to bed early, thinking that I could get up in the morning, go and workout. What did I do? I didn't workout but I did do something different. I went ahead and I got my gym bag ready, I will workout at lunch. I made myself a healthy lunch. I WILL do this.

The key is that I have to go with the flow. NOT EVERYTHING WILL FALL INTO PLACE but I will just have to go around the obstacles that come my way and I will make progress. I know that I can do it ...... I just have to find out what I need to overcome, and overcome it. :)

Today is a new day, a new week, and a start of a new challenge for me. I am also participating in a challenge to help me keep on track, keep the motivation in me ..... give me tips, tricks to work with everyday.

14 weeks until January 1, 2008 .... what does this mean for you?

For me? Honestly, if I work hard EVERY day by eating healthy, working out, being honest with myself .. I should be able to lose 14#'s ... what would be nice is if I could lose 28#'s ... but I want to be honest with myself here today ..... if I can lose 14#'s before the new year, I will be on a good road. A healthy one!

So what do you have to lose? What can you do in 14 weeks?

Today I woke up refreshed, feeling good, thinking and knowing I can do this! I think my head is out of my A$$ and I am ready for a new week. :) My week is going to start Friday. Its 10:13 there, I have drank 51 ounces of water already, nothing sweet besides my blueberries and my protein drink, been going around the office (my boss is away) and doing walking lunges and the girls are like "you are a freak becca" and I said when you are not in shape then we will talk. Then I had to go to the bathroom and I did some squats, lunges in there for the mirror. :) Yes .. I am doing my exercises throughout the day until this evening when I get to do them all together.

Yippee!!!!!

My biggest challenges and things I am working on:

- limit caffeine - not only coffee, diet sodas (bad)
- limit or should i say eliminate sugars from my diet.
- limit refined carbs
- get my water in first thing in the morning :)


I just had to share :)

Today my P.T. sent this article to us and its a GREAT article. Its so what American's do. For whatever reason this is what people have made us believe that if we dont eat a lot of food, we will lose weight. Its a sad state of affairs we are in and I find myself sometimes thinking this.

If you want to read up on it, feel free!! :) I know you wont think of it as a waste of time.


http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/core_march_8.htm

This last week has been hard for me. I found out that my best friend since I was like 2 or 3 is moving away. We have been on and off in touch for 5 years due to some life events. Now that things were getting back to "normal" and now she is moving away. Its been a little depressing for me. I am excited for her because I think that in some ways it will be good, some ways I don't think it will be good, I worry that our friendship will get lost in the dust as she heads east. I know that I am probably being paranoid but I don't want to lose our friendship. I love her so much.

On a side note with my fitness:
Here I have been sitting here complaining about not working out, not losing weight but honestly really not doing much more than that. I haven't gone to the gym for awhile, I haven't really been watching my eating besides the watching of it go into my mouth.

But this morning I did it, I got out of bed when my alarm went off and got to the gym. I realized today how far behind I am on my weight loss program. What does that mean for me? That I need to work harder at this. I need to remember that this weight didn't come on in just one day so I am sure its not going to fall off in one day. I need to just get moving, get eating healthy again and all things will fall into place. :)

But yesterday I did a few things to change that. I made my lunch, I got to bed at a reasonable hour, I watched my sugar intake, I got everything ready for the morning besides getting up, getting my shoes on and getting out the door. I am going to do the SAME thing tonight besides I am actually going to have my bag in the car so its just a matter of getting up, grabbing my lunch out of the fridge and head out.

I hope to see some positive change here and I know it will overall help me mentally and physically! I am kind of excited to make some serious changes!

I will just keep telling myself "you can do it!!!!!"

I feel like I keep sabotaging my efforts to lose weight. I am tired of contining saying, I will start tomorrow or I will start next week. I have been eating good today, yesterday and I am already planning on my gym day tomorrow morning bright and early. I have my lunch planned for tomorrow to go to work so I am prepared to stay on plan. Now, I am waiting for my clothes in the washer so that I can get them dried and get everything ready and in the car tonight so that all I have to do is wake up. :)

What is wrong with me? Since we have been home from the hospital, I just want to stuff all this bad food in my mouth. Plus I have had no motivation to get up and workout and I have the opportunity. What is wrong with me? Maybe I am still stressed out or something but I do know that tomorrow morning, I am going to get up early, get out to the lake, jog around the lake then I am going to get ready to go into town so that we can get our stuff done and then we will be back. I am not going to stay down. I need to get a few more good, healthy foods in the house but I need to do this. Not just for myself but also for Vince. I have to think about him now as well.

Anyhow I hope that I am able to be a good support.

Today, Vincent is doing much, much better. He is being back to his normal sillier self. Joking around with me, talking more, just everything. I don't know how to explain some of this besides just saying he is feeling better. I have so much around me showing that he is doing better. I am so excited, gives me hope. He is VERY eager to listen to me now about things, he wants to make life style changes so that he never comes back here. Now the key is the life style change has to be more than just popping a pill everyday, its diet, exercise along with his medication. He knows that, he wants to do that because he doesn't ever want to be back here again. This time is a killer for him.

I can't wait to get home and be away from this place. Its been really stressful on me, especially with family. I can't wait to be home with Vincent and me. Things are going to be a little bit stressful cause I am not going to sit back and let this happen again and I am not going to allow other people to make the decisions that they think is what we need to make. I get very frustrated because I have been doing so much research and involved with the doctors during all of this and I have heard already with him in the hospital that he can still have this and that because he has his medication and he still needs to make sure that food tastes good. True, food will taste good but its going to be healthy and they are going to be under my rules. If they aren't under my rules, then I don't want them. Why? Because I have to live with this day in and day out.

For me this means my life, he is my world! I will do this lifestyle change along his side, I am going to be VERY VERY supportive and do everything like him. No cheating even at work, if I do, I will be honest with him but I am going to be sure that he has the support of me 100% behind him.

I could be possibly getting cranky because I have been around too many people for too many days with a lack of sleep, a monster amount of stress but I still know that we are going to be making some lifestyle changes that will be good for him. He will be healthy, hopefully he will be on his way to recovery soon! :) And onto a new and healthy lifestyle for his life, my life, our life and the life of our family! :)

Today is day 6 at the hospital. Man the days are long and hard. I wish that I could do something! I did speak up today and say something and I dont know if I will regret it later but for today I am not worried.

The doctor said some of his levels are coming down. His trigylcerides were 3500 and they are now today 900. So that is good; he is looking better, more color in his lips and face. :) I am happy to hear that though he says the pain is still really really bad, I still am glad to see him more talkative, more alert. I can't wait for him to come home.

These last few days have been really hard on me, he is my world, he is my everything. I would do anything in the world for him. If I could give him my pancereas and take the pain, I would ..... I would do it in a heartbeat.

Its hard for me cause I have so many stresses and there is no one that i can really talk to about it! I called my mom last night at like 2am cause I had to get it off my chest, I was crying and I just needed to get it out of my system. It was a good one. :) :)

Anyhow I hope you are all doing good .... I am just sitting here and waiting for my hubby to get feeling better. They are changing his medication soon so I am waiting to get my coffee.

Talk to you soon!!! :)

I am going slighty insane today! I am here at the hospital; I feel like I haven't taken care of Vince very well these last few days and it makes me go insane. I mean I know that I can't do everything and sometimes I need to get out of an hr or so just to get some time away but I feel bad cause I went to have some coffee and I ended up being gone for awhile.

I feel guilty overall in so many ways. I feel like I should have been harder on Vince so that he wouldnt be here, I feel like maybe my habits infleunced him and that is why he is here.

I just love him so much that I hate that he is sick! I hate that he is here but i can't make him do anything, I can encourage him to do it but I dont want to be the nagging wife,

I just feel so overwhelmed, so frustrated in general. Maybe its a lack of sleep, maybe its the constant beeps that go on in a hospital where you should be resting and healing. Rest? In a hospital? You have to kidding me ..... 1st there are nurses that seem to take their time on everything. Its driving me insane! Then there are people everywhere, always around, always things going on ...... I just feel drained! I know its because people care but everytime I turn around its "whats going on? what did they say? he is ok? whats going on? .... its just going on and on!!!!

Anyhow I hope that I am doing a good job taking care of him, I hope that Vince knows that I just needed to "recharge" my mind .... I hope there is some understanding and I hope he knows that I didnt mean to let him down!

We are still in the hospital with Vincent. Today is day 5 and they said 3 to 4 more days. That is going to be almost 2 weeks. Holy cow!!! This experience has been really hard on me as I dont know what to do, I dont know how to help, I just feel like I am just here but when Vincent either asks me something or wants some ice water, I jump to do it as it makes me feel so much better when I am able to help out.

Well I wanted to give everyone an update to the situation. Thanks for everyone's thoughts and prayers!

-B

Today I am in the hospital still with Vince. We came in here on Friday and he has panceratis again and its not good. He is still not doing well though he has some more color in his face, he is still not feeling well. He can barely get up and around, not eating much or for that matter drinking much. I really worry about him. I dont know how long that I will be here at the hospital but I know that I will be here but I will not leave until he is much better.

Anyhow that is my world since Friday morning at 4:30am!

I can't resist posting this up here ..... :)

Today I was thinking as I looked at myself in the mirror. Ugh, I need to lose weight and then I pinched my fat roll (like if I pinch it, maybe it will fall off or something) :) But I reminded myself that didn't appear overnight and I can't expect it to fall off over night but I am using the tools I need to to make it start melting off.

But I think that sometimes we need to ask ourselves, where are my priorities with my weight loss? Do I let the housecleaning get in the way of my workout? Or maybe my favorite TV show? Or maybe I cheat so that I can have two lunches in the week with girlfriends? Or maybe we allow too many indulgences during the week.

I know that I am in consistent failure of allowing things to get in my way and that is why I am where I am today but I really do believe in my heart of hearts if we give it our all then we will succeed, we will see progress, we will be healthier and happier!

So this week, lets think about what is that we can do to change our schedule or our habits to make it easier for us to get to the gym, do our workouts, to make healthy meals .... What do you want more in life? Health or the temp flavor of the day or the tv show that will discontinue in a couple seasons :)

Today I read this quote: "Everything we do affects other people." And it got me thinking about it as in the way of weight loss, of course everything we do affects people. We can be a positive role model for our friends, family, and even strangers or we can be a negative influence.

For me, I think that I can be a role model for both my husband and my family of eating better, being more active and etc. I also know that I am an example to people that I work with. Whether they follow me or not, they notice that I haven't done what I promised I was going to do.

Anyhow that is my thought for the day. I am hoping to get out and walk later but TOM is here and its killing me so if I can control the food today it will be my "gold star" :)

Update on my weekend:

Yesterday, evening I asked my hubby to go on a walk with me but he wasn't feeling well so he said let me make you a deal, we will get up tomorrow morning go on a walk then we will make a breakfast. I said "ok" but I still went on a walk. When I got down to where I was walking, our friend was riding her bike around the lake. She said I that she was going to go around and catch up with me, She told me that she was going at a good speed and for her one mile, I was 3/4 of a way around. I was so proud of myself. She said that I was really going at it. :) I was doing an 18 min mile which I would like to have it better but I will take it :) I haven't been doing well on the exercise front lately.

Then today, I went walking with my husband around the lake and he said that I was walking much faster than I had before. He thought I was crazy ... I could have probably going gone around again. I was feeling good about my jogging, walking. I wasn't getting as winded and etc. I am planning on conserving some energy today to move some wood with my inlaws but I want to go walking 1-2 miles this afternoon depending on how much energy I have.

I am really trying to stay active during the weekend so that I am doing something so when Monday morning comes around that it wont be so bad. :) I need to get in shape, I need to do for myself, I need to do it for my husband, I need to do it for our future family. I am proud of myself ......

For all those who wanted to see my before pictures. Please remember this is a few months ago but I have NOT been doing my workouts religiously like I am going to from this month forward! :)

Please stay tuned for a few posts after a few months!

Before Pictures

What kind of role model are you? Do you reward your child with a piece of candy or some other food prize? Do you involve your children and family in your healthy lifestyle? Do you not think that they are worth it? Do you not think that they deserve the best in life? Do you not love them enough to want them to be healthy too?
Your children, do they find themselves going outside to play, climb in the trees, run in the sprinkler or do they sit in front of the tv watching cartoons, playing some video game?
When you say its dinner time, do you sit at the table as a family enjoying each others company or do you find yourselves in front of the tv or computer eating dinner possibly even in seperate rooms? Or do you think the family dinner is when you order pizza or KFC?

What do you do with your life and your familys' life to show that you value their life? What do you want for yourself? What about those precious ones in your life?

This comes from me observing the family life of some of those who are around me. I have seen the parent reward their child like a dog and give them a piece of candy everytime they did something right. Its not that they shouldnt be praised but should be praising our children with food, most of all candy especially at an early age. What is that teaching them about the values of food?

And families these days, have so little time together, why not make sure that you are spending at least one meal together. Asking about each others day, teaching your children the value of meal time, family time.

I know that there are some adjustments in my own life that I need to make before having a child. But I am glad that I see it now, want to change now and working at the changes now. I want my family to have a good strong outlook on life, I want them to be able to make good decisions on life. I want them to be healthy, strong.

So let me ask you, what do you want for yourself and your family? What decisions are you going to make that will impact your family?

So the update in my world ....

Our friend is living with me and my husband right now and he is helping us out on some of the house stuff. So we had this wall that needed fixed and it got fixed! I am so super excited about. This room is going to be a "nursery" when we have a baby. We have talked for awhile about having children and etc but I think that we are finally really making steps towards trying to have a family. :) I am so excited. I can't wait for the day I find out that I am pregnant, I can't wait for the day when I meet our child, I can't wait until the day when our baby says "mama", I can't wait for the day for our baby to say "i love you mommy" but I can wait for the day our child want to grow up and move out of the house. :)

I am really excited. I can't wait to start a family! I can't believe that here soon, I could be a mom. What a concept? Will I be a good mom? I sure hope so .......

I think this weekend, I am going to texture and maybe paint. :)

Thats the big news in my world!!!!

I thought this was a great article on strength training.

Add Strength Training for Lean Muscles

Turn that Weight Loss Weakness into a Strength

-- By Zach Van Hart, Staff Writer

Before Gail Devers won the 100-meter dash at the 1992 Olympics, she spent countless hours on the track. But you know where else she spent her time? In the gym, doing strength training. Not to gain weight, but to keep her muscles strong.

The common fear is that strength training will add bulk and therefore add weight. But this is a myth. Strength training will build lean muscle and burn some of that fat. So in the long run, you not only become stronger, but you can lose weight as well. Women, in fact, are more likely to tone up from strength training rather than bulk up.

So what part of the body should you work? All of it – your upper body, core, and lower body.

Your upper body is made up of your arms, chest, shoulders, neck, and upper back. This is easily the most popular part of the body to work for strength training. Here are some possible exercises for the upper body:

• Pushups
• Dumbbell Side Exercise
• Chest Press
• Dumbbell Shoulder Raise
• Lat Pull Down
• Tricep Kick Back
• Dumbbell Shoulder Press
• Bicep Curl

The core is very important because you derive much of your balance from the middle section of your body. Plus a strong core allows you to do other exercises better and more effectively. When it comes to your core, almost everyone takes care of their stomachs with sit-ups. But there is much more to your core, including your obloquies, lower back, hips and groin. Here are a few exercises for the core:

• Crunches
• Crunch w/Twist
• Reverse Crunch
• Bird Dog

Last but not least is your lower body. While the legs are sometimes forgotten during strength training, they are also very important. The reason for this is large muscle groups like the ones in your legs burn more fat and help you last longer during aerobic exercise. The key is finding exercises that specifically work your quads, hamstrings, calves and tibialis. Here are a few lower body exercises:

• Forward Lunges
• Ball Squats
• Leg Press
• Wall Squats
• Calf Extension
• Leg Raises

Make sure to give your body a rest after a strength workout. Whichever part or parts of the body you work, give it two days’ rest before you work it again. This gives the muscles time to repair themselves and allows your metabolism to do its thing. And before you know it, you will not only be strong, but on the way to hitting your weight goal.

Watch out ... I wanna be this girl! :)

Okay so in my email box this morning I got an email from my personal trainer that wrote all of all of us to think about our goals and gave us questions to answer. Here are the questions and answers for me. I think its good for me to get them out here so that I can learn from them and maybe help others as well.

1. Did I meet my goals? Why or why not?

No I didn’t make my goal. Why? Because I got off track, then I got into the fat girl thinking and I just let everything get me down. Am I proud? HECK NO!!! What has it resolved?? That I need to focus more, I need to focus on what I am doing right instead of what I am doing wrong. Could I make more excuses? Sure but I am not going too. It was my mental attitude and that is going to change starting this morning!

2. Describe at least one thing you are VERY PROUD of this month. Give good detail here.

The beginning of the month I struggled but I was able to remain somewhat healthy eating but I didn’t last throughout the month. I DID IN FACT have a slap in the face, a realization of what I need to do and my pitfalls and I am CURRENTLY working on them and trying to get them resolved. So overall I am proud that I am able to start seeing and recognizing the pitfalls that I am having and figuring out on my own what is it that I need to do PERSONALLY to avoid them.

3. Describe the behavior you need to change now that is holding you back. Do this in a positive way by describing the behavior you want and how you will do it. The words "not and bad" should not be in this description. I need to have more of a positive outlook on things; I need remind myself that each day will make a difference. I didn’t get out of shape overnight so I can’t expect to get in shape overnight. A lot of times, I just beat myself up on one thing that I ate or didn’t eat, or that I didn’t go to the gym Instead of doing this, I need to say I didn’t get to the gym but I did 4 other times this week. Or I did eat that candy bar but I am going to have a nice light meal and I will be back on track tomorrow.

I need to focus on the good that I am doing and not always dwell on the bad that I am doing or the things that I am not doing.

So to sum things up … be more POSITIVE TOWARDS MYSELF LIKE I DO TO OTHERS!

4. Write about your end goal. What is it that you want for yourself in this journey? Be positive and be specific.

I want to live a long and healthy lifestyle. I want to be able to have energy for when I have kids that I am able to run around with them. I also want to be a good influence on my children, family and friends around me! I want to feel good about what I look like and how I feel. More energy, better stamina ….. I want to be healthy and strong!

Have you ever had fat girl thinking? The thinking of that well I am already fat, whats the difference going to make if I work out or if I control what I am eating. Or the thinking that you are doing all of this and you can't see the difference in yourself so you lose the motivation you started out with? Well I think we have all been there at some point in time of our lives.

Well I have kind of been in a slump lately, letting all the daily things get me down, weight me down and I am always thinking, I don't have time to do this or that or I screw up on something small but I let it drag me down for a day or god forbid let me drag me down for a week then a month.

Ok ... its time to pull myself out of this rut. Slap myself silly .... com'on girl. Jump on the wagon again, lets do something about this. Stressing about it, worrying about it, talking about it isn't doing anything on that waist line.

This morning, it all kind of came and slapped me in the face. I couldn't find anything comfortable to wear, I woke up with no energy, I feel just BLAH about the day and about everything. But what did I do? I took the time to measure my food out, to make my own lunch and not allow my fat girl thinking to get me down in the dumps. By allowing this to do that, I am only harming myself and I don't want to do that anymore. I think it was good to have the hard reality kind of slap me in the face (even though I left the house pushing back the tears) ... I think it will help me in the long run.

Here is my journal for todays food:

B-Coffee w/ Creamer (need to cut out that creamer)

S-Almonds, Soy and Wasabi (I know .. not the greatest but I will go and get some natural almonds tonight)
Blueberries

L- 1/2 turkey sandwich
raspberries

S- string cheese
cherries

D- BBQ chicken
rice
corn on the cob


And I want to drink a ton of water today!

Have you ever thought so much about your weight during the day that you actually feel exhausted, wore out on just the thought of it? I have been there before and I think I have been there again today.

Today, it hit me of how much I miss working out and eating clean. Have you ate so much junk that it kind of makes you just feel? That nothing really sounds appealing except some fruit and veggies and even water. And I am even craving exercise .... So what am I doing? I am back at it. I am downing water like there is no tomorrow, working out and ahhh the taste of my veggies and fruit! So refreshing!!!! :)

I dont want to waste my time or energy worrying about my weight but not doing anything about it!!!!! So today I change my thinking, my actions and my thoughts!!!!

I have a lot of willpower so I just need to channel it in the right direction!!! :)

Stresssssss

STRESS

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a
glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers
called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends
on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the
heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we
carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later as the burden becomes
increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and
rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on
with the burden." "So, before you return home tonight, put the burden
of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if
you can." So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you
right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the
statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat
them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the
middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their
maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to
others.

I know I am probably out of times but today was the first time I have ever watched "The march of the penguins". It was an amazing movie! It amazes me of how God created our earth and everything on it. All the different kind of species and how each one of the survive!!!! A penguin dad holds the egg while the mama penguin goes and eats ..... they withstand -68 below zero without counting the windchill factor that is up to 100mph. Can you believe that!!?? The penguin dads go up to 3 or 4 months (1/4 of their weight) without any kind of food; just to protect their egg. They can dive up to 1700ft and be in the water 15 minutes without a breath. They are so FAST!! Its just another amazing thing to watch how our creator, created all of us including these wonderful animals.

To read more about these wonderful animals: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penguin

-------
As I sit here and watch this show it makes me think of the humankind world. In all aspects, the lack of good parents, the lack of people who are willing to give their shirt off their back or even a helping hand. But here we have a circle of animals that show what kindness to each other in some respect, they help each other weather the cold by taking turns so that everyone will stay alive?? But here we can't barely find someone who is willing to help you when you need help, its all about the world of greed.

Why in the world can't the humankind look at the world of animals and see how we need to be like them? If everyone just showed their love, kindness like animals; our world would be much more peaceful. Hopefully this post made sense :)

I haven't really had time to post a blog lately but its time that I do. This is more of a vent or something. Since oh before Memorial Day weekend, I haven't been to the gym, why you may ask? I haven't had time cause I was dealing with my friend, then I went away for the week, my boss was out of town and on and on .......

So the other day, I was talking to a co-worker and she said "Are you still doing WW and working out?" I said "No, I quit WW and going to try to learn true meaning of nutrition. And as for working out, I want too but I feel like I haven't had time or energy but I really need to go back and do it" So the next thing out of her mouth is "You are so funny Becca, you always start some diet or some fad and you never stick with it, you are just like me but just think we can be happy and chubby and eat great food."

I have been trying not to let it get me down but it kind of does. Then another co-worker comes up to me this morning since I was here early and said "hey you still going to the gym in the mornings?" I said "Nah I haven't but I need to get back" ...."I've noticed you haven't ... I didn't figure ya would."

Anyhow that is the comment that really got me down in the dumps because for starters and jump on getting back in line and get my butt to the gym. I am going to eat better for myself and for my own health and for the sake of my own energy level.

I am having a hard time with this whole thing, I was doing good. I was feeling good about myself and for whatever I just stopped, I started putting it off and I hate myself for doing that. I hate it.

I have mixed feelings about having a co-worker join me at the gym. In one hand, it would force to have someone relying on me in the mornings to get out of bed and do my best at the gym (cause I don't want to look like a flake) but on the other hand, I am still not really in shape and I don't want her to think like "woah, what a cow ..." or something. :)

She asked me today "do you only do cardio or weights?" I said it really depends on my plan, I mean if I have strength training, I do that ..... :)

I am really excited about it but I am also nervous. I am going to have to get my "A" game to the gym. :) I am really going to show her what a "phit girl" is like.

I had a talk with Corinne last night and all of sudden, I am feeling better, I am feeling like I am doing good on exercise now my next step is to really nail down my foods. I am going to be quitting WW as I just don't think that its the program for me. I mean, I look at the points and I eat junk to fill in the needs. I am really going to concentrate more on eating healthy and clean foods. :) I really think that sending my journal daily whether its something embarrassing or not for the day is really what is going to keep me focused. I have Corinne, dear Corinne who is willing to pick at my journal and help more more than the support I get otherwise. :)

I have to get my head wrapped around this ... I have to bring it all to the table and workout hard, I have to eat better and I will start feeling better. I want to be wearing the springy clothes but I don't want to be buying them in "HUGE" size but I would like to see a little more progress. :) I am just tried of wearing the same ol' clothes and I am tried of wearing baggier, darker clothes to hide(Don't get me wrong, I will never give up black ... but I can add some spice to my black). I want to be free of my weight! :)

One of the things I worry about my weight and health is breast cancer. The reasons is that I have larger boobs and my gramma eventually died of breast cancer and I dont want to risk it and that is why I am trying to loose weight!!! I hate the thought of getting breast cancer. It scares the crap out of me!!!!

Anyhow I came across this article and I think everyone can read it!!!! Its good to know!!!

Enjoy your day!

3 Ways to Prevent Breast Cancer

Article By: Marisa Weiss, MD

Maintain a healthy weight.

It goes without saying that weight plays a role in helping you stay healthy, but it may also affect your risk for breast cancer as well. There is substantial evidence to support the theory that obesity increases the risk of breast cancer in postmenopausal women. In fact, a 2006 study involving more than 87,000 female nurses showed that weight gain during adulthood (e.g. 20s, 30s, 40s) is a strong risk factor for postmenopausal breast cancer. The good news though is that maintaining a healthy weight through the years, along with losing weight (if overweight) after menopause, can do a lot to lower your risk.

Eat a healthy diet.
Maintaining an overall healthy diet not only offers your body the energy and nutrition it needs to function, but offers health benefits as well.

Several studies suggest that a healthy diet may play a role in reducing the risk of breast cancer. For example:

• A low-fat diet may help reduce the risk of breast cancer recurrence. In a 2005 study, women with a history of breast cancer, who got only about 25 percent of their daily calories from fat, had a lower risk of the cancer coming back.
• In 2006, the Women's Health Initiative Trial suggested that a low-fat diet may reduce the risk of first-time breast cancer for women whose diets are very high in fat to begin with.
• A 2007 National Cancer Institute study of middle-age women, who ate a wide range of fat, showed that a high-fat diet raises the risk of developing invasive breast cancer.
• Women who eat a lot of meat, particularly red or processed meats, may be more likely to develop breast cancer, according to a large study of British women published in April 2007.

Stay active.
Besides giving you more energy and helping you lose weight, physical activity also can help lower a woman's breast cancer risk. Two studies completed in February 2007 confirmed that six or more hours of activity each week can reduce the risk of invasive breast cancer for most women.

Changing your diet, losing weight and starting or ramping up your exercise routine can be hard. But with information, support and practical tips on how to make the changes, you can begin working toward a healthy weight that will help your body stay strong and healthy.

About the Writer
Marisa Weiss, MD, is president and founder of breastcancer.org. Visit the "Lower Your Risk" section at breastcancer.org to learn more about breast cancer risk.

Today I feel really depressed about my weight and its really getting to me. I sit here on the chair and I want to get out and move but I have no one to go with ...... It depresses me to look and see what I allowed myself to get into it. I am just falling into every temptation out there. Sugars, mainly! I am having a hard time fighting the urge to crave sugar. And I hate it. No I am fat and I have no sense of pride in myself. Right now, I just want to cry!!!!!!!!
I look back on pictures and I use to be strong, and I am finding more and more that I am not. I know that part of this depression has come around because Thursday was my 26th Birthday and I realized how far that I have gotten into a rut in my life!!!!

Anyhow I hope that I can find a way to get myself out of this rut, I hope that I find myself able to pull myself out of the place of eating foods to comfort myself in some way, or out of boredom, or the thinking I am going to be fat anyhow I will just have another bite.

Someday I hope to be proud of who I am, what I look like, how I feel!

I completely just stole this from the Phit N Phit Member page but I know that people will understand and for those who aren't Phit N Phat, I think its a great staying.

"Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from smething they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill."

I think this can really sum up this journey that I'm on. I can go to the gym, go through the motions but that will not, in and of itself, do it. I have to have desire to change my eating habits and be healthier, a dream pushing my body past anything that I may have thought possible and a vision of how to put all these new found skills into practice.

I think the last sentence of this quote is the most important part. We can all learn these skills. In fact, most of us know them and we have been doing them or trying to do them for years or off and on for years. However, the skills mean nothing if we do not have the will, determination and strength of character to put them into place and follow them.

Going back to some posts from last week, I saw this in an email today from Sparkspeople:

They are small words. They can be easy to miss. They slip off your tongue as you order your food, without even knowing what you are saying. Yet they mean the difference between a healthy or unhealthy meal. What are these unassuming potential land mines? "Menu Watch Words"--and it pays to keep your eye on them.

Not all "Menu Watch Words" are bad. When you go out to eat, just go prepared. Know which words to look for and which to avoid. Below is a quick hit list of "Safe" Green Flag and "Warning!" Red Flag food options that even young children can understand. Challenge your kids to see how many "red flag" and "green flag" foods they can find, and let them choose their meals out of the green flag options.

The watch words below are a guide. Still, food items can be very healthy or unhealthy regardless of the use of any of these words. There are times when these words are used to mislead you (which is why we call them "watch words" and not "guarantees"). So use this along with your good judgment to steer clear of the bad stuff. More often than not, you'll end up making a smart decision.

GREEN FLAG - Usually Good for You
Steamed
Reduced
Baked
Marinated
Seasoned
Fat Free
Whole Wheat
Multi-grain
Vegetarian
Light
High Fiber
Fresh
Red sauce
Vinaigrette

RED FLAG - Usually Bad for You
Breaded
Fried/Deep Fried
Creamed/Creamy
Béarnaise or hollandaise
White Sauce
Crispy
Cheesy
Buttery
Loaded
Bottomless
"Bet you can't finish it..."
Au gratin
Country-style
Volcano

Decrease Cravings with These Tips -- By Holly Little, Certified Personal Trainer

After indulging for the past 3 months on foods that you would normally “restrict” your consumption of, you might be having a hard time kicking the habit of giving in to your sweet tooth. From the leftover Halloween candy to the chocolate overload on Christmas night, the cravings have been constant and hard to ignore. Like any other addiction, sugar intake can be a tough one to kick. It seems like the more sugar and desserts you have, the more you are waiting for the next hit. Where does the battle end?

I am not sure that I have the easy, cure-all answer, but here are a few tips that might help you pull your own sweet tooth.

• Try to find a substitute. Generally, you tend to crave sweets after a meal or in the late afternoon. It might be helpful to have something else there and ready to fight off those cravings. For example, peppermint tea might work in the evening, a box of raisins in the afternoon, a piece of fruit, or anything else that you can think of that would be somewhat nutritious and easy to keep with you.
• Wait out the craving. Most experts say the cravings you experience will only last a couple of minutes and if you can wait it out, they will pass and you will be better for it. Try to occupy yourself for a good 10 minutes when you get a craving and if it lasts longer, then it might be time to indulge in something.
• Set daily goals and reward yourself for meeting them. To a sugar addict, nothing is tougher than getting through the day without any type of sugary treat. The longer you can hold out, the easier it will become, so try to find a reward that would be worth holding out for. I did this about a year ago and gave myself a dollar for every day that I did not indulge and at the end of the month or however long it was, I would go get a manicure or buy myself something nice.
• Recruit someone to do it with you. If you are married or have a family, this would be a healthy habit for everyone to adopt. Clean out the cupboards and refrigerator of all bad foods and make the effort a team effort. Hold each other accountable and support one another through the tough times.
• Put yourself in good situations. If you are one who loves to use the vending machines at work or will drive through the local gas station to fill up on snacks, try to do things to prevent you from continuing on with these habits. Clean out all of the change and single dollar bills in your wallet. Make sure you fill up on gas when someone is with you. Go grocery shopping after a meal, so you don’t load up on bad food.

As hard as it might be to believe, you CAN quit this evil thing called sugar and you will be a better person for it. Not only will you probably lose some weight, but you will feel better and more energetic. Good luck!

Did someone say bootcamp? Heck ya!!!! Corinne is putting together a bootcamp in September. I am pretty excited as I am planning on going to it. Now its time to get my bootie in shape for the bootcamp! :)

I am pretty excited!

Yesterday was my big girl day! Yep, I decided to commit myself to the gym I have been "visiting" and get a membership. So now I am all grown up and I am commited to doing alll of this.

I read an awesome site and I really do think everyone will enjoy reading this. I do love to lift weights, I hate the cardio part of it but I love to have defined muscles and lift weights like the boys! :) hehe!

Here is the link: http://exercise.about.com/od/exerciseworkouts/tp/liftweights.htm

Enjoy reading!

I also wanted to share from my trainer that she sent these questions to us and I really did think it was great. If you are starting out and you want to get moving, setting goals is a great way of doing that. Here are a few things to think about.

Monthly Goal (Be specific…describe your goal like you would describe your favorite meal.):

Specific Steps you will take to make this happen:

What you will feel when you reach this goal:

Daily tasks that need to be done to get to your goal:

Potential pitfalls to achieving your goals:

How you will overcome those pitfalls:

Now, what do you need from me to help you get there!

WAIT!!! ONE MORE THING!!!! :)

What kinds of self-talk should you watch out for?

1. Self-Limiting Talk. When we are self-limiting we may say things like, "I can't tell him how I feel" or "It's too hard to finish the project" or "I'm getting so fat!" Self-limiting talk creates a self-fulfilling prophecy because we stop looking for solutions and assume defeat. Instead of looking at our options, we tell ourselves that we can't handle the things that face us.

2. Jumping to Conclusions. When we experience an uncomfortable situation, we make interpretations rather than simply stating the facts. For example, we'll say, "I tried on my jeans and looked so disgusting" or "Tom talked to me and I made a fool of myself" or "If I go to the gym, people will talk about me." When we jump to conclusions, we too often

assume the worst and make fact out of what might be fiction.

3. Habits of Speech. Our speech patterns can be so automatic that we don't even notice them. And though we may not even really mean what we say, it can have a negative impact on how we feel about ourselves. This may sound like, "What do you expect from a dumb blonde?" or "I'm so stupid!" This habit also shows up in the way we discount ourselves to others. For example, when someone tells us we look nice and we respond, "Yeah, right!" Though these detrimental habits may sometimes be disguised as humor, they aren't funny at all.

4. Other's Thoughts Become Our Own. Some of our thoughts are planted by external sources such as our parents, spouse, colleagues, or friends. These well-meaning voices have clear expectations of us that become a part of our own self-talk. Though their thoughts can serve us, they can also become detrimental when we are unable to distinguish their ideas from our own. One sign of this form of negative self-talk is when we begin to hear ourselves say things like "You really shouldn't..." or "You ought to..." When other's thoughts become our own we begin to act out of guilt, rather than desire.

My newest favorite coffee ...........

Venti Iced Americano with a little slash of NF Milk!! Yummmy!

Going to go pick me up one today! :) MMMMMMMMMMMMM! Coffeee!!!!!!!!

1st WW Meeting

Ok I am back from my 1st WW meeting and I don't know if I liked it or not. First of all, I will not judge this one because its the fact that the WW leader was out sick and so we had a receptionist fill in and she never did a meeting before. I will go again next week and see about how I like this. Basically I felt like someone was already telling me everything I knew so there was no like "woohoo" for me at the meeting today.

But my woohoo of the day is that my butt is sore from all those lunges but its GREAT! Today I was on the treadmill and I was thinking I can do more than 20 minutes, what is Corrine thinking? But I did it and then I went and did my supersets then about crawled into the bathroom to take a shower. I was like omg I am glad that I listened to Corrine on the treadmill.

I need to get back at it, I need to get focused again. I think that some of my focus went away last week (though I had this nagging in the back of my head) because I was frantically trying to get work done, get my quarterlies done and I was flying around here crazy. Anyhow today is a new day, today is Sunday which is better than Monday but I am going to try to be healthy, eat healthy, maybe get some exercise in today.
What things look like for me this week:

Sunday: Probably a walk with the dogs, some other exercises that I can do at home
Monday: Probably a walk with the dogs, some other exercises that I can do at home (I hate not being able to go to the gym, though this may change as well. Looking into a prospect maybe this week. **HOPEFULLY this week**
Tuesday: Workout
Wednesday: Workout
Thursday: Workout
Friday: Workout
Saturday: Probably a walk with the dogs, some other exercises that I can do at home
Sunday: Probably a walk with the dogs, some other exercises that I can do at home

I think that I just need to put my best foot forward and move ahead and do it. I keep coming up with excuses, I was too tired to get out of bed. Then I need to do it after work and take the consequence of getting home later cause I was too lazy to workout in the morning. But com'on I have to focus on what it is that I want, what it is that I need to do.

Hopefully I will be looking more Phit and Phabolous soon!!!! I just need to do it, I need to do for me! So I feel better! I think that I am going to print out my goals and do it, I am going to get posted everywhere, including my car so I remember!

Hope everyone has a great rest of their Sunday!

Excited!!! My friend, Melisa and I had lunch on Thursday. We were talking about loosing weight and she said that she was thinking of WW. So this coming Wednesday, we are going to go join up for Weightwatchers meetings. I am really really excited. Seems like a lot of things are starting to workout for being able to loose weight.

Woohoo!!!! I will keep everyone up to date on my weight loss!

This week has not been a good week for me to get out there and exercise. I have been VERY stressed at work and I feel like I am letting everyone down including myself. I hope to be able to stay moving this weekend and not be a lazy couch potato.

We are also going to my inlaws for dinner on Saturday so I am really going to watch "portion" size and try to make some healthy decisions while Im up there :)

Here are a few articles I read that I wanted to share. Enjoy reading :)

Time and time again I overhear someone saying: I used to workout but ever since I stopped, my muscles just turned into fat. Does this happen? Let's set the record straight...
Lucky for us, this is not how muscles and fat work. Basically a muscle is a muscle and fat is fat, one can never be the other. Muscles are what moves your body so therefore without muscles, your body would not be able to move at all. Muscles use fat for energy to contract (move your body). This is why the more muscle you build, the more fat that is used up -- Don't worry though, this doesn't mean you need to become the Incredible Hulk in order to burn fat, you just need to work your muscles.

Isn't that good news? Now get out there and do some resistance training already.

-------------

Strength Training IS Important for Weight Loss

Thu, 04/19/2007 - 1:30pm by FitSugar

Losing weight (and keeping it off) is more complicated than the calories you eat being less than the calories you burn. Without strength training while dieting you risk losing lean muscle mass which is really important to keep your metabolism going.

Your muscles need energy to work, so the more muscle mass you have the more calories you burn over the course of a day. It works like this, for every pound of muscle you gain you will burn 35 to 50 more calories a day. Now that has got to be great incentive to add strength training into your routine if you are trying to lose weight.

Here is another inspirational fact for strength training to build lean muscle: we lose 5% of our muscle mass every ten years after age 35. If you do not intentionally build muscle through exercise you will need to eat 120 to 420 less calories a day to maintain your current weight if you are over 35. I just want to say it is never to early to start building lean muscle - no need to wait until you are 35. So why not start today?

There are so many advantages to strength training, including: benefits to your bones and cardiovascular health, reducing risk of Type 2 diabetes, and protecting your joints.

The first picture is 9 years ago and I thought I was fat, then 7 years ago, and I thought I was fat now I look at myself and I am like WOW!!!!! I dont want to be any bigger. It scares me!!

Today, Vince said with all the love but he was looking at old movies of us when we were first married and I was wearing shorts. Now, my legs are scared of coming out in shorts, they like to be hidden behind the clothing.

Well to a new me and a new life!!!!!! And to allow the sun to see my legs again! )

Today, I walked for 20 mins even though it was raining and windy. My dogs weren't too hapy over walking in the rain either but they did good. I am trying to keep moving, keep on track, not let myself to quit ... cause I am on my way to a new a life. :)

For awhile now, I have seen ads for the races that are for "breast cancer awareness" and different ones like that and I have wanted to do it but I have failed at training, signing up for it or anything. So I want to make this one of my goals that I do this year is be a part of a race. My only challenge that I currently have is that the race that I would want to do is the same weekend as Corrine's boot camp. :) So we will see how things go, the closer they come but I think with the training of Corrine and more that I will be able to be ready if I don't do the boot camp. :)

I am also looking ahead, what do I want to do next year, where do I want to be next year this time?

I wrote my sister and told her that we need to do Bloomsday (www.bloomsdayrun.org). We did this 3 years in a row back when I was younger and we always had fun. We didn't run the whole way but we would walk, jog and we are both fast walkers so it was always a good little clip :) I told her that we should make it a girls weekend. Head over, get there on Friday night, hang out Saturday, walk/ jog the Bloomsday race (12k=7.46 miles) then rest up on Monday together. :) We had one weekend back when I was younger and it was our special little thing, we would count on every year so I want to get it back in our lives and its something healthy for us to do :)

I think that if I have these type of things in front of me, a race or something I can concentrate on a goal in mind, a deadline, something to achieve and along the way loose some weight as well.

This years goals for now:
- Breast cancer awareness race (if not in TN)
- Corrine's Boot camp

Next year goals that I have in mind today:
- Bloomsday Run (First weekend in May, so it will be May 4th, 2008)
- Breast Cancer Awareness (usually Sept/ October)

Hopefully with these goals in mind, I will stay focused. Off to get the podcast for Couch to 5k on my ipod! :)

Oh before I go, here there is an awesome link on goals that my trainer shared with me, take some time and read it, You will be happy you did. :)

A quote from the page: "Writing goals and plans down on paper is the first step towards achieving them. As Tony Robbins says, “If you talk about it, it’s a dream, if you envision it, it’s possible, but if you schedule it, it’s real.” when every part of your fitness and nutrition program is put into writing, this ONE discipline alone has the potential to literally skyrocket your results…"

http://www.burnthefatblog.com/archives/2007/04/turbo_charge_your_training_jou.php

Today I "tested" a new gym in my area (by my work) to see if I would be able to get more out of my workout than where I was going before. I do think that I might be able too. I have a two week test run and so I am going to try it for two weeks and see how it goes. I hate to sign up and then not like it.

I did my workout this morning (thanks Corrine). I am really hoping that I will be able to stay on this and that I will lose weight. I see these girls in the gym complaining about being fat and I think to myself you have no idea lady! (they are like a size 4). Anyhow the workout was good, the gym was good. :) I think for now that I am going to join the gym, stay with WW, stay on with Corrine and hopefully start seeing the #s melt away.

The weekend is coming, Monday I work in the 'couv so I don't get to workout at the gym but my plans are not to not workout but just do what I can around the house, maybe take the girls on a walk, play some basketball or something. I just don't want to quit moving, I have been moving for over a week and it feels good. :)

Its official. Ol' Jazz has rest. You've been a good friend, we will miss you. Love you ol' buddy!

Packing around an extra 50#. Whats the big deal some people will say? How hard is it on your body you might wonder? My conclusion was yesterday coming home from the airport. My suitcase was just around 50# and it was huge AND heavy. I almost couldn't stand up carrying it. When we were waiting for my father in law to pick us up, I said "phew this thing is heavy. I am glad that I dont have to carry it around everywhere" Then as I was sitting on my suitcase, waiting I thought basically that is what I am carrying around with me everyday, a huge suitcase. I have 50# to lose and I am here carrying this bag around with me. No wonder my body gets angry with me.
It was a hard resolization but it really hit home, that I need to get arid of this extra baggage (literally) and move on wiht my life more in shape.

So today I jumped on the scale and jumped back off and thought, I dont like you mr. scale. You are not my friend today but I know that I made decisions to eat bad food while on a vacation having the mind set "Im on vacation". So its my own fault.

Anyhow now that I have rambled on for a bit, I have to go ahead and get ready and go to work. :) Today, I did skip my workout as its was a VERY emotional day last night and I couldnt get up in a few hours with have cried my eyes out so I will just plan on a harder workout tomorrow. :)

Until my next thought :)

goodbye jazzier

Today when we got picked up at the airport, we were told that Jazz my husbands childhood dog of 16 years was going to be put asleep tomorrow. When we were over there saying goodbye to him, he whimpered and cried, it was really tough. Especially cause I know how much Vincent and him love each other. Its hard for me, I dont really know why but maybe cause I am really attached to animals and I dont know how to say goodbye or something. But to you Jazz, you have been a great dog for Vince. I know that he will always love you and miss you! Take care buddy!!!! You always have a spot in our hearts. Heres something I wrote to you ....


Sometimes we gain a friend through a pet, they are the ones that are always there for us when we need someone the most. They bring joy to our hearts, comfort for sorrows, ease the fears we have in life.

When we must say goodbey to our ddear friends, its always hard to do. They are more than a pet, they are a part of our family, someone who we have come to love and know. Each one has their own personality and have touched us in some way in our lives.

But as we say goodbye, we only say goodbye becuase we want them to be comfortable, not in pain but its not easy for us because we are going to miss them and we have pain in our own hearts. We will cherish the memories we have, we will hold them dear to our hearts,

To you Jazzie we love you and will miss you. You will always have a part of our hearts and lives that we have lead. You have been there in big ways for some (ie your daddy who loves you very much) and some of us who you just touched by being a good dog. We will love you forever and cherish you in our hearts and memories.

To you ol' buddy!

walking around SFO and I am ready to come home!!! sigh. I hope we get this flight standby at 4:20. that would be nice. huh?

miss home .... miss my pups .... homesick is the feeling i have!

im out guys! hopefully catching a flight soon!

A proud moment for myself today! I went to the gym here in SFO and I was on the treadmill. Now for the last couple days, I have been doing it but I have been doing the pace at 3.5 and if I try to up it at all its like 3.8 and feels like I am going to drag my feet!!! So today, I cranked the baby up for 4.5 and jogged, yes jogged for about 5 mins then I thought my heart could explode so I went back down to 3.5 but then it felt like I was walking too slow so I bumped it up to 3.8!!!! I did this. I jogged two times today. The first time it was for 5 mins and the second time, I could only last 3.5 mins but I made an accomplishment. I see how I am getting a little stronger with my body, now its time to focus on the willpower. :)

I am excited about my training, I have made my mind up that I need to do this. I can't be carrying around an extra 40 to 50lbs everyday. No wonder my feet hurt, my back hurts, my legs hurt. Think of it this way, if you were carrying around a child on your back that much everyday, sleeping on top of you, no matter where you go you have this extra 50lbs on you, makes it more difficult to turn around with having your butt in the way, or to sit comfortably on an airplane or anything. I have been thinking more and more about this. I don't want to destroy my body by not working out. There is no reason for it. So today, I make the commitment to CONSCIENCELLY watch my diet, watch everything that goes in my mouth, makes sure that its really worth the points. I did today, eat a piece of zucchini bread at Starbucks (Bad and my only excuse is that I didn't have dinner last night, I walked my husband down to his expo and I was starving and felt fainty.) I should have made a better decision on the bread but I didn't and its a lesson learned and will hopefully not be repeated!

I have some new goals in my life that I am excited to jump on when I get home. As I am walking around SFO, I think to myself what is it that I am trying to gain. The answer: a fuller life. You don't need your stomach to be fuller but life enjoying life at its fullest will be easier, more attainable as I become phit! :) I told my husband next time we are in SFO that I will be jogging around the city for my exercise, the gym will be my friend and I will hopefully have lost my weight and be able to run circles without being exhausted. Though, I have to admit, I may be overweight but I see myself in a better position than some, I see myself in better shape than some that are even smaller than me cause though the scales, sizes do mean something, the shape, the physical shape I am in is that meaning of life more to me. I would be happy in a size 10 if that meant that I could kick some serious booty! :)

Now that I have rambled on and on, Its time to shower, pack my bags (I'm ready to go, I stand outside the door ....) and get moving for the rest of the day in SFO before my flight leaves at 6pm :)

I got to ride the trolley!!! Woohooo! That was so much fun! :) :) I am glad that we did it. Its expensive ride but but was still fun to do.

Well today is my last day in SFO. I am excited to get home, to see my pups, to be able to get strict with my diet and exercise program. Its not that I couldnt do certain things or have certain choices, I just choice not to eat the best. Why? Cause I was being lazy and I thought, I was on vacation. Yesterday ---- cotton candy and a free cone from Ben and Jerry's. Though, I shouldnt have, I did.

When I got back to the hotel and read Corrine's blog, I was kicking myself in the butt!!!! She has it down pat. Read this entry of vacation and you will see why I am kicking my butt!!!
http://phitnphat.wordpress.com/2007/04/17/making-good-dining-out-choices-while-on-vacation/

So for my farwell to SFO, I am going to go to the gym, workout harder than I did yesterday. Why? I need too and I want too.

See you back in Oregon!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, I walked down to the gift shop in the afternoon and I was in my workout clothes but I really wanted a diet pop so I walked down there. The gal said "you workout?" in a strong accent. I said "yes I did earlier" She proceed to say "I wear similar things when I go to the gym." I said "good luck" She said "My friend lost so much weight and she is now fit and pretty unlike me and you who are fat." This did crush my spirit a little. I mean I know that I am not fit and I know that I am not the prettiest but it crushed my spirit cause I just worked my butt off at the gym with Corrine's workout and I thought I wasn't going to be able to walk back to the hotel and then she said that ..... I just about died!

Anyhow today my spirit though a little crushed, pushed forward and went and worked out. I did Corrine's workout for #1 cause I am in a gym I don't know and I wanted to get something done and there were so many people around, it was hard to get around today. But I did do it. :)


I hope everyone is having a great day and I hope that all are able to stay on track. Well I'm off to walk around SFO as this is my last day really here and I want to go and get a few more pictures before I leave! :)

Make it a great day!!!!!!