I am going slighty insane today! I am here at the hospital; I feel like I haven't taken care of Vince very well these last few days and it makes me go insane. I mean I know that I can't do everything and sometimes I need to get out of an hr or so just to get some time away but I feel bad cause I went to have some coffee and I ended up being gone for awhile.

I feel guilty overall in so many ways. I feel like I should have been harder on Vince so that he wouldnt be here, I feel like maybe my habits infleunced him and that is why he is here.

I just love him so much that I hate that he is sick! I hate that he is here but i can't make him do anything, I can encourage him to do it but I dont want to be the nagging wife,

I just feel so overwhelmed, so frustrated in general. Maybe its a lack of sleep, maybe its the constant beeps that go on in a hospital where you should be resting and healing. Rest? In a hospital? You have to kidding me ..... 1st there are nurses that seem to take their time on everything. Its driving me insane! Then there are people everywhere, always around, always things going on ...... I just feel drained! I know its because people care but everytime I turn around its "whats going on? what did they say? he is ok? whats going on? .... its just going on and on!!!!

Anyhow I hope that I am doing a good job taking care of him, I hope that Vince knows that I just needed to "recharge" my mind .... I hope there is some understanding and I hope he knows that I didnt mean to let him down!