Watch out ... I wanna be this girl! :)

Okay so in my email box this morning I got an email from my personal trainer that wrote all of all of us to think about our goals and gave us questions to answer. Here are the questions and answers for me. I think its good for me to get them out here so that I can learn from them and maybe help others as well.

1. Did I meet my goals? Why or why not?

No I didn’t make my goal. Why? Because I got off track, then I got into the fat girl thinking and I just let everything get me down. Am I proud? HECK NO!!! What has it resolved?? That I need to focus more, I need to focus on what I am doing right instead of what I am doing wrong. Could I make more excuses? Sure but I am not going too. It was my mental attitude and that is going to change starting this morning!

2. Describe at least one thing you are VERY PROUD of this month. Give good detail here.

The beginning of the month I struggled but I was able to remain somewhat healthy eating but I didn’t last throughout the month. I DID IN FACT have a slap in the face, a realization of what I need to do and my pitfalls and I am CURRENTLY working on them and trying to get them resolved. So overall I am proud that I am able to start seeing and recognizing the pitfalls that I am having and figuring out on my own what is it that I need to do PERSONALLY to avoid them.

3. Describe the behavior you need to change now that is holding you back. Do this in a positive way by describing the behavior you want and how you will do it. The words "not and bad" should not be in this description. I need to have more of a positive outlook on things; I need remind myself that each day will make a difference. I didn’t get out of shape overnight so I can’t expect to get in shape overnight. A lot of times, I just beat myself up on one thing that I ate or didn’t eat, or that I didn’t go to the gym Instead of doing this, I need to say I didn’t get to the gym but I did 4 other times this week. Or I did eat that candy bar but I am going to have a nice light meal and I will be back on track tomorrow.

I need to focus on the good that I am doing and not always dwell on the bad that I am doing or the things that I am not doing.

So to sum things up … be more POSITIVE TOWARDS MYSELF LIKE I DO TO OTHERS!

4. Write about your end goal. What is it that you want for yourself in this journey? Be positive and be specific.

I want to live a long and healthy lifestyle. I want to be able to have energy for when I have kids that I am able to run around with them. I also want to be a good influence on my children, family and friends around me! I want to feel good about what I look like and how I feel. More energy, better stamina ….. I want to be healthy and strong!

Have you ever had fat girl thinking? The thinking of that well I am already fat, whats the difference going to make if I work out or if I control what I am eating. Or the thinking that you are doing all of this and you can't see the difference in yourself so you lose the motivation you started out with? Well I think we have all been there at some point in time of our lives.

Well I have kind of been in a slump lately, letting all the daily things get me down, weight me down and I am always thinking, I don't have time to do this or that or I screw up on something small but I let it drag me down for a day or god forbid let me drag me down for a week then a month.

Ok ... its time to pull myself out of this rut. Slap myself silly .... com'on girl. Jump on the wagon again, lets do something about this. Stressing about it, worrying about it, talking about it isn't doing anything on that waist line.

This morning, it all kind of came and slapped me in the face. I couldn't find anything comfortable to wear, I woke up with no energy, I feel just BLAH about the day and about everything. But what did I do? I took the time to measure my food out, to make my own lunch and not allow my fat girl thinking to get me down in the dumps. By allowing this to do that, I am only harming myself and I don't want to do that anymore. I think it was good to have the hard reality kind of slap me in the face (even though I left the house pushing back the tears) ... I think it will help me in the long run.

Here is my journal for todays food:

B-Coffee w/ Creamer (need to cut out that creamer)

S-Almonds, Soy and Wasabi (I know .. not the greatest but I will go and get some natural almonds tonight)
Blueberries

L- 1/2 turkey sandwich
raspberries

S- string cheese
cherries

D- BBQ chicken
rice
corn on the cob


And I want to drink a ton of water today!

Have you ever thought so much about your weight during the day that you actually feel exhausted, wore out on just the thought of it? I have been there before and I think I have been there again today.

Today, it hit me of how much I miss working out and eating clean. Have you ate so much junk that it kind of makes you just feel? That nothing really sounds appealing except some fruit and veggies and even water. And I am even craving exercise .... So what am I doing? I am back at it. I am downing water like there is no tomorrow, working out and ahhh the taste of my veggies and fruit! So refreshing!!!! :)

I dont want to waste my time or energy worrying about my weight but not doing anything about it!!!!! So today I change my thinking, my actions and my thoughts!!!!

I have a lot of willpower so I just need to channel it in the right direction!!! :)

Stresssssss

STRESS

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a
glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers
called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends
on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the
heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we
carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later as the burden becomes
increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and
rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on
with the burden." "So, before you return home tonight, put the burden
of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if
you can." So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you
right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the
statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat
them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the
middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their
maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to
others.

I know I am probably out of times but today was the first time I have ever watched "The march of the penguins". It was an amazing movie! It amazes me of how God created our earth and everything on it. All the different kind of species and how each one of the survive!!!! A penguin dad holds the egg while the mama penguin goes and eats ..... they withstand -68 below zero without counting the windchill factor that is up to 100mph. Can you believe that!!?? The penguin dads go up to 3 or 4 months (1/4 of their weight) without any kind of food; just to protect their egg. They can dive up to 1700ft and be in the water 15 minutes without a breath. They are so FAST!! Its just another amazing thing to watch how our creator, created all of us including these wonderful animals.

To read more about these wonderful animals: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penguin

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As I sit here and watch this show it makes me think of the humankind world. In all aspects, the lack of good parents, the lack of people who are willing to give their shirt off their back or even a helping hand. But here we have a circle of animals that show what kindness to each other in some respect, they help each other weather the cold by taking turns so that everyone will stay alive?? But here we can't barely find someone who is willing to help you when you need help, its all about the world of greed.

Why in the world can't the humankind look at the world of animals and see how we need to be like them? If everyone just showed their love, kindness like animals; our world would be much more peaceful. Hopefully this post made sense :)

I haven't really had time to post a blog lately but its time that I do. This is more of a vent or something. Since oh before Memorial Day weekend, I haven't been to the gym, why you may ask? I haven't had time cause I was dealing with my friend, then I went away for the week, my boss was out of town and on and on .......

So the other day, I was talking to a co-worker and she said "Are you still doing WW and working out?" I said "No, I quit WW and going to try to learn true meaning of nutrition. And as for working out, I want too but I feel like I haven't had time or energy but I really need to go back and do it" So the next thing out of her mouth is "You are so funny Becca, you always start some diet or some fad and you never stick with it, you are just like me but just think we can be happy and chubby and eat great food."

I have been trying not to let it get me down but it kind of does. Then another co-worker comes up to me this morning since I was here early and said "hey you still going to the gym in the mornings?" I said "Nah I haven't but I need to get back" ...."I've noticed you haven't ... I didn't figure ya would."

Anyhow that is the comment that really got me down in the dumps because for starters and jump on getting back in line and get my butt to the gym. I am going to eat better for myself and for my own health and for the sake of my own energy level.

I am having a hard time with this whole thing, I was doing good. I was feeling good about myself and for whatever I just stopped, I started putting it off and I hate myself for doing that. I hate it.