Today I feel really depressed about my weight and its really getting to me. I sit here on the chair and I want to get out and move but I have no one to go with ...... It depresses me to look and see what I allowed myself to get into it. I am just falling into every temptation out there. Sugars, mainly! I am having a hard time fighting the urge to crave sugar. And I hate it. No I am fat and I have no sense of pride in myself. Right now, I just want to cry!!!!!!!!
I look back on pictures and I use to be strong, and I am finding more and more that I am not. I know that part of this depression has come around because Thursday was my 26th Birthday and I realized how far that I have gotten into a rut in my life!!!!

Anyhow I hope that I can find a way to get myself out of this rut, I hope that I find myself able to pull myself out of the place of eating foods to comfort myself in some way, or out of boredom, or the thinking I am going to be fat anyhow I will just have another bite.

Someday I hope to be proud of who I am, what I look like, how I feel!